A Lesson In Professionalism

As the person that answers all of the e-mails sent to CollegeHumor, I hear from a great deal of mind-numbingly stupid and/or humorless people. When an e-mail really dazzles me, I entertain myself with the response. Here’s today’s exchange:

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Hi,

I was watching one of your videos the other day and discovered your CHTV slogan: “100 Billion Viewers Daily.” As far as I know, there are only about 6 billion people on Earth, so unless you are very popular amongst aliens, I would suggest to change the ad. It’s not funny, but misleading.

James

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Hi James,

Forwarding you an e-mail from one of our alien fans.

————— Forwarded message —————
From: Gorgax Flerm <GorgaxTheDestroyer@hotmail.com>
Date: Gorbleday, Smerx 9-X, 149023 at 9 moons 3 squodgets
Subject: Quogzar Beezlefloff
To: general@collegehumor.com

Greetings CollegeHumor,

Quogzar Beezlefloff to you and your family. I have minimal time, as my people are being systematically brain-raped by the twelve-anused GlonZop Race of Betelguise 5’s third and most temperate moon. Just wanted to say that I love your vids! If we had Hardly Workings here in the PraggyFrag Mind Swamps, truly there would be less babies squeezed to death in the claws of the Gaseous RoboLobsters of Sector Snork.

Save us (LOL!)
-Gorgax